COPING WITH PERSONAL PROBLEMS. She wanted to die. God had other plans. Why does my life have to be so painful? What's wrong with me? It's not going to get better. It could all be over soon, and then I won't hurt anymore. Kristen Anderson thought she had the picture-perfect life until strokes of gray dimmed her outlook: three friends and her grandmother died within two years. Still reeling from these losses, she was raped by a friend she thought she could trust. She soon spiraled into a seemingly bottomless depression. One January night, the seventeen-year-old decided she no longer wanted to deal with the emotional pain that smothered her. She lay down on a set of cold railroad tracks and waited for a freight train to send her to heaven and peace. But Kristen's story doesn't end there.